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Things I Never Had The Chance To Do With My Mom

Life Lately 3 SheenaLovesSunsets-min

This month, we mark the 4th year of my mom’s passing. She passed away just a few months after I got married last 2012. I was only 24 and she was only 50 then. We were very close and did a lot of things together but because she passed away so early on, there were also so many things we never had the chance to do together anymore.

So I decided to write this post to encourage all of you that if you still have your moms with you, to never take the little and big things for granted. There are people who would do anything to have what you still enjoy with your mom.

5. Finish Downton Abbey together


Ok, let’s start with something light because if you know me in real life, I don’t like highly emotional situations. Haha.

My mom and I would watch Downton Abbey and a bunch of other shows together. I remember the days after her funeral, when it was still hard to grasp what just happened, I sat down and watched the last few episodes that we weren’t able to watch because she was already in the hospital then. On one episode, my favorite character passed away so unexpectedly and my first instinct was “WHAT?! I need to tell mom!” And that’s when it hit me that it was not gonna be the same again.

They say that the wake and funeral isn’t the hard part; it’s hardest when you’re settling back into life without that person anymore and that’s true. I miss her most when I pass by her favorite stores, when I watch our favorite shows and on those moments when I wish I could just give her one more phone call.

4. Have a Mother-Daughter trip together

Mom 1 SheenaLovesSunsets.com-min

We took a lot of trips as a family and that’s always one of those things I’m so happy and grateful for in my life. In a family where everyone’s main love language is “quality time” (read about the love languages here) we really bonded during trips.

One thing my mom and I never got around to doing was go on a trip that’s just us two. It’s one of those things we would probably be planning now if she were still alive today. Usually, she’s super stressed when we travel because she has to take care of everyone. But if we had the chance to travel today, just us two, she doesn’t have to break a single sweat because she has a self proclaimed expert traveler as her travel companion. Haha! Kidding.

3. Share my motherhood journey with her


My mom didn’t live to see me pregnant and become a mom but I’m sure she would have been there every step of the way.

When I miscarried, I thought about how she would have (for sure!) stayed with me at home during the day when I was recovering. When I was pregnant, I would feel envious when I see moms accompanying their pregnant daughters to the OB. When I was breastfeeding Luke as a newborn, I thought about how I know my mom would have probably offered to watch over him so I could get a nap.

I wish I could also ask her for tips and advice and her different stories about her own motherhood journey. I wish we got around to talking more about being a mother when she was still with me, but since I wasn’t pregnant yet at that time, it just didn’t cross our minds then.

2. Introduce her to Luke

Luke Travel 1 SheenaLovesSunsets.com-min

Luke was born 2 and a half years after she passed away and how I wish they were able to meet each other. I wish she could have known the kind of person that Luke is and also for Luke, I wish he knew what kind of grandma he would have had in her. Luke loves his grandparents (Mor’s parents and my dad) and I know he would have loved having another doting grandmother in his life.

It’s sad to think that none of my kids will ever know how my mom was like. I’m sure they would have loved her and she would have loved them too.

1. Go to church together

Bible Verse Sheena Loves Sunsets Sheena Sy Gonzales

My mom accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior a week before she passed away. We even talked and joked about how she could give her testimony publicly in church when God miraculously heals her. However, that wasn’t God’s plan.

I have prayed for her salvation for 2 years, since the day I became a follower of Jesus and God has given me the great privilege of seeing her surrender her life to Him. And though I would have wanted to experience worshiping Jesus together with her, I’m sure she’s having the most amazing worship experience in heaven now with Him and I couldn’t ask for more.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

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  • Reply
    October 2, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    Thanks for sharing this, Sheena! It’s really a great encouragement to me and reminder to spend our time with the people who matter the most. :)

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 2, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      I’m happy this helps Sam. :) God bless.

  • Reply
    Mónica - Mes Voyages à Paris Blog
    October 4, 2016 at 12:10 am

    Hi dear! I’m so sad to read this… but I’m sure your mom is SO proud of you from Heaven… Mine also passed away some years ago so I totally understand you. My best wishes for you darling!

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 4, 2016 at 7:51 am

      Thanks Monica, same to you!

  • Reply
    October 4, 2016 at 2:16 am

    here’s a bit of a different perspective that I have no idea is true or not.. could you believe that maybe your mom has met Luke in heaven before he was born? and that maybe she sent him off to be born into this world?

    i think Luke is lucky because he has his grandmother watching over him from heaven. it will be a little easier to ask for her intercession for help or advice – another person to pray to for comfort or maybe discernment. :)

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 4, 2016 at 7:56 am

      Hi Catherine, I really appreciate your sentiment, thank you so much. I personally believe though that they couldn’t have met, only because there is no Biblical basis for the idea. I hope that next time though, we will all be reunited together in heaven and there I can introduce Luke to my mom! :)

  • Reply
    Siffat Haider
    October 4, 2016 at 3:37 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Sheena, but this is such a beautiful and honest post. What a great way to commemorate her!

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 4, 2016 at 7:51 am

      Thank you so much Siffat. :)

  • Reply
    October 6, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    “It’s sad to think that none of my kids will ever know how my mom was like.” This line tugged at my heart strings so bad. I never got to meet my lolo (my mom’s dad) because he passed three weeks before I was born, and I’m here wishing he also got take me to the lake he always took my older cousins too. This makes me wish so bad that Luke got to meet his lola, but I’m sure you’re doing great in still getting him to get to know his grandma. :) This is such an honest and raw post, you did well in writing to commemorate your mom’s memory. :) <3

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 7, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      Awww thanks Pia. Im sure your lolo would have loved to meet you. ??

  • Reply
    Betina Santos
    October 21, 2016 at 2:09 am

    OMG Sheena!!! I remember being such a big fan of your blog back when I was in 2nd year high school! It’s funny because I was just thinking about how you were recently, since the last I remember reading from your tumblr was when your husband proposed! So glad to hear you have Luke now!! Time flies so fast!! <3

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      October 23, 2016 at 3:06 pm

      Betina! Thanks so much for checking up on me again! It’s so good to reconnect with my Tumblr readers! How did you find me again? Hehe. Yes time really does fly! Life is so different but in a weird way, still feels same, you know? Hope you’re happy as well!

  • Reply
    Eli Manahan
    June 13, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Hi. Sheena I am also your avid fan since I was in college, I remember reading your blog post when your mom passed away..i was really in shocked because i am used to read happy and exciting travel blogs from you..and i literally cried secretly in my room that night. I cant forget your illustration saying ” i miss you everyday”, I wasn’t really close to my mom before, ’twas a wake up call for me, since then, i savor every moment with her. Now i am also a mom like you :) i would definitely do this things with my mom…Sometimes God allows our pain and trials to become a blessing to others.. like me. Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family

    • Reply
      Sheena Sy Gonzales
      June 13, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      Hi Eli, thank you so much for sharing this story! It is such an encouragement to know that God is using simple things like my blog to reach to people like you. I’m so happy for you that now you spend time with your mom and you’re enjoying her company. Life is so fast: one day we were just in college reading Tumblr (haha) and now we’re both moms. So nice to hear from you Eli. Hope to meet you someday. :)

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